It's 2013

Most people have lots going on during December and we are no exception. This year we were able to visit my family on the East coast for almost two weeks. It feels like we've been going non-stop, but I've also had so much in my mind that actually writing it down seemed near impossible. I'm back to normal life these days, which reminded me that we have a blog!

Emma is ONE year old. I realize I'm a little late posting about this since her birthday was the 16th. Ten days. Not so bad. At her one year appointment on Monday she weighed a whopping 18.3 lbs, putting her in the 8th percentile. The pediatrician finally acknowledged that, yes, she's just petite. Believe it or not, he wasn't telling me anything new.

Alice and Emma have also begun taking simultaneous naps, meaning Emma's only doing one nap a day. I'm loving the time to read my bible without distraction and then simply enjoy the quiet. As of Sunday they've been napping in the same room, which was only successful for one day and then has been somewhat of a battle... until today! It didn't occur to me until today that maybe if Emma had already succumbed to her exhaustion when Alice got in her bed they wouldn't distract each other from falling asleep. Worked like a charm. Emma took way less time to fall asleep than normal, which meant Alice was tired enough after waiting for Emma to fall asleep that she got right in bed and fell asleep quickly. Love when parenting efforts "work."

Can't seem to decide lately which book to read, so I'm reading three at a time (four if you count the one Andrew & I are reading together). Today has been Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches by Rachel Jankovic. It's concise and often feels like someone just dumped a cup of ice water over my head. The chapter I just read is called "Watch Your Language." Here's a sample of what I mean about the ice water:

Another way in which we can do damage to ourselves is through the use of totally innocent words that we use to allow ourselves something. I remember thinking sometimes when the twins were little that I had better stop being overwhelmed... God gave me this to do. I may not be overwhelmed about it. I can try as hard as I can, and maybe fail sometimes. I can try as hard as I can and fall asleep at the dinner table. I can try as hard as I can and be completely burned out at the end of the day. But I may not be overwhelmed. Actually, I may be overwhelmed, but I may not say that I am overwhelmed! The words have a real power over us. If you say it, you allow it for yourself. You give yourself that little bit of room to say, "But I can't!"... Deciding not to say it is different than never actually being in over your head. But God loves a cheerful worker. I am still frequently in over my head. Actually, most of the time! But deciding not to wallow in that fact has removed one of the biggest obstacles to my work--my own calculations of how hard the job is.

I probably could have quoted the whole chapter. For any of you out there who are moms of little ones, this books is a MUST read. This chapter was a longer one, 5 pages, so it's easy to read a chapter in between diaper changing and reading a book to your toddler, for example :-)

And now that it's quiet around here (assuming I choose to block out the thumping music from next door), I will read my bible! Happy Saturday!

And then it hit me...

Alice is TWO AND A HALF YEARS OLD today. Her favorite thing lately is "Mama, play? Mama, play?" which means she wants me to chase her, let her get away, hide, wait for her to come looking for me and then jump out and scare her. Like really scare her. It's best if she thinks I'm in one place and then I catch her from behind. She freaks out and throws herself into my arms and says "Again?" Okay, in all honesty it sounds more like "Mama, pay?" and "Na?"

When we're driving somewhere Alice likes to point out all the vehicles she sees, and sounds genuinely surprised when she sees anything that she can tell me about (which is constantly). She says "Oh! White car! Oh! Green car! Oh! Orange truck! Oh! Blue bus!" This, however, also requires a trained ear because it sounds more like "Ah! Whitey daw! Ah! Deen daw! Ah! Ahn duh! Ah! Boo buh!" And I'd prefer this over the constant "Doh! Doh! Doh!" (translation: "Go! Go! Go!") every time I'm stopped at a red light. We're trying to explain that when the light is red we have to stop and wait patiently (read: QUIETLY) for it to turn green, at which point we may proceed. It's a process.

We've taken a step backwards in potty training. Up to the last month or so Alice would periodically get on the toilet herself. Now she screams like I'm causing her bodily harm if I try to... gasp... put her on the potty! So my brilliant attempt at moving away from this tonight was to offer stickers. I put one on her hand after she used the potty and then taped a piece of paper on the door for her to put another sticker on. Yeah, that was pretty much the end of the world. Tantrum galore. Once she finally calmed down I explained that the paper will stay there for her to put another sticker on when she uses the potty again. Another tantrum. Oi. Then came the book-reading distraction. So thankful that sometimes distractions still work on this girl.

Emma will be TEN months on Friday. She's still comfortably wearing her 6 month sized clothes. A few 3 month items still fit too. BUT, there are some 9 month sized clothes that don't completely drown her! She's quite petite. And I love it. I'm thankful that my first baby was on the "bigger" side so both Andrew & I could get used to a baby without worrying about breaking her. And I'm thankful that my second baby is on the "smaller" side because I'm not worried that I'm doing something wrong based on her size. She's just little.

But her size does not slow her down at all. She's constantly on the move, looking for something else to put in her mouth. Today she figured out how to climb up the stairs and then was laughing hysterically watching Alice go up and down ahead of her. So cute. Emma is really starting to enjoy watching and learning from her big sister. She also responds incredibly well to Alice's "hugs" which may be more accurately described as "tackles."

Pictures from the first half-ish of November here. This includes Emma's first time meeting Grandpa Bill & Mimi. So fun!

Tonight they enjoyed their second bath together in the big tub. Emma LOVES when Alice splashes and Alice loves that her own splashing encourages Emma to join in. Stark contrast to the usual Alice repeatedly wrenching toy after toy from Emma's grasp exclaiming "Mine!" and causing the most horrible wail to escape from an otherwise mild-tempered baby. Ah, motherhood. Wouldn't trade this for the world.

A Good Mother

This post brought tears to my eyes. What a gracious God we serve! Thankful that He strongest in my life when I acknowledge my weakness and rely on Him.

Election 2012

Today is the election. It looks like President Obama will be holding his office. I'm glad that the Lord already knew the outcome of this election and isn't surprised. Also glad that the Lord has given us a hope that's bigger than the next president.

Today's episode of the Gilmore girls ended at the mall (again). Mom needed to take a walk, but the un-air conditioned out-of-doors wasn't too welcoming. During the 30 minutes of laps around the second level Emma snoozed for perhaps 10 minutes and then thoroughly enjoyed watching Alice play at the kids' "Playtown." It would've been excellent to videotape Alice playing with the other kids, if the video camera was in attendance. Alas, it was not. One little girl in particular really wanted to hold Alice's hand and drag her around the place. Alice complied for a little while and then got fed up with someone telling her what to do. Eventually she just ran away any time the girl came near. Oh yeah, it was a proud Mom moment for sure.

Today marks the fourth day of the maintenance guy (who doesn't work weekends) not fixing our screens from the break-in on Halloween night. Don't worry, as far as we can tell, only a few small things were taken--most noteworthy being our checkbook (the account has since been changed and put on alert) and Andrew's iPod. Bummer, but thankful nothing too sentimental was taken. I randomly walked by one of the managers today who told me that he fixed one of the screens but not the other. Yeah, that was incorrect. They both still have slits in them. She did assure me he'd be by first thing in the morning to fix the front one, which I kind of don't believe. Ah, apartment life!

Today is also November 6, which means in one week Alice will be exactly two and a half. Holy moly. She's been talking in sentences lately, but it takes a highly trained ear to decipher them. Even mommy's ear is sometimes insufficient. I'm told that one day language just "clicks" and they start speaking real words that normal people understand. Not to say mommy is abnormal. Well, I guess that's debatable.

And on that note, I must sleep!

Alice in Wonderland

Love these adorable girls! More pictures of Halloween & October here.

Happy Halloween!

My Halloween treat is simultaneous naps. LOVE them... love the girls too ;-)

I've finished Alice's costume which she will wear to Awana tonight at church since daddy is teaching the lesson. I'll stay home with Emma. I should probably have candy to hand out... I haven't gotten them both in their costumes yet because I still have a few things left to finish Emma's. Pictures will be coming, I promise!

So the last several weeks we've all been on and off sick, which has meant not good sleep all around. Last night the girls didn't make a peep from 8PM-6AM. Okay, I think it was 5:58 when Alice came in our room. It. Was. Awesome.

And now I hear Emma playing, which is better than screaming. But if I don't go get her soon it will become screaming.

Happy Birthday!

To my brother, Dan! Today he's 17, which means I'm... older. And feeling REALLY older knowing he's only one year away from 18: a legal ADULT. Weird.

Emma is also a nine months old (as of last week), which meant another well-baby check-up. This time, thankfully, without any shots. Alice came with me because our appointment time ran into Andrew's class time. That was exciting. She definitely remembered her last visit there and had several freak-out moments at a few key points in the doctor's office. Awesome.

But Emma is nine months old! HOLY MOLY where does the time go? Sure, she still looks like a six month old, but she's started pulling up on everything. Today she shuffled her feet while standing precariously perched alongside a semi-sturdy toy bin. She's way too independent for a nine month old.

Nine months old! Yep. She's 16 lbs. 5 oz and 26.5" long. Her head is 44 cm around. This may mean nothing to you if you don't have a baby in your life so I'll break it down with percentiles. Her head is in the 49th percentile (down from 69th at her 6 month visit). Her length percentile has also decreased. She's currently the 15th percentile, down from 65th. Weight? Yeah, last time was the 13th percentile but this time is the 9th percentile. So, that's the smallest change from last time! But, yeah, she's quite petite. Probably not a future basketball star.

No teeth yet. I'm fine with that.

She's definitely crawling on her knees more. Not completely done with the army crawl, but realizing that knees can be very helpful in seeing things up higher. I'm a little nervous that she'll be the kid who scales our entertainment center when I've got my head turned. Oh, and the doctor said she's going to be a dancer or a gymnast because she's incredibly flexible. Spiderbaby?

What's on the ground?

This morning when I woke up it was overcast. Oh. Yes. Water even fell from the sky. Sure, it was in very tiny mist-like droplets, but it was water. From the sky. Otherwise known as RAIN.

For this reason I decided to make comfort food for dinner: spaetzle (egg noodles) and lentil soup. So thankful for my spaetzle maker!

I intended to take a picture of my plate but I couldn't reach the camera from where I sat. And you just can't let spaetzle and lentil soup get cold. Maybe when I have the leftovers I'll take a picture. If I remember.

The past few nights we've been putting the girls to bed at the same time and it's been going fairly well. Before that I'd put Emma down and then Alice once Emma started quieting down. Inevitably Alice would be past tired when she finally made it to bed and Emma would wake up and re-start her before-bed-squealing. This then turned into a cycle of Alice screeching, Emma crying, Alice wailing, Emma banging her legs on the mattress, Alice sobbing. You get the idea. Not the most pleasant for anyone really. Tonight marks the third night in a row of girls getting to bed without excessive amounts of screaming. Just to clarify, the screaming comes from them, not Andrew & me. At least, not audible screaming from us...

I'm optimistic that we've turned over a new leaf (HA, get the autumn reference?!?) with the girls and they'll do much better sharing a room from here on out. I'm not being sarcastic.

The dishes are calling. You know what they're saying? "Where did the counter go?"

Restoration

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever." Psalm 23

This psalm has been on my mind a lot today. Mostly "my cup overflows." I am so thankful for my husband, our children, our church, our home, our friends. Often I feel like a roller coaster of emotions but I think it's a girl thing. And God made me with these emotions to serve Him in and through them. I am overwhelmed at how He works in and through His children.

One of my annual struggles which happens around this time of year is missing the autumn leaves of New England where I grew up. This was always my favorite time of year. I loved the cool, crisp, quiet mornings. I loved crunching through the leaves in the woods and the overwhelming aroma of "fall" when you walked outside. I loved wearing sweaters, scarves and hats. I loved apple picking and spiced cider and pumpkin carving. And almost none of that happens the same way in southern California.

But I can still rest in the Lord as my shepherd. He restores my soul even when it doesn't feel possible in the hustle and bustle of my life.

All Things

Today was one of those days when I found a plethora of misfortunes to grumble about. As much as I want to list all those things right now, it occurs to me that perhaps it won't help anyone (myself included).

"Do all things without grumbling or disputing," Philippians 2:14

"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-13

Oh how this attitude eludes me! I want to curse all the circumstances around me rather than admit the problem is actually within me. I am the one who needs to change. And often times I just don't want to. I want the problem to be everyone and everything around me because it's easier. To face the fact that my sin actually prevents me from experiencing joy in life... It's too humiliating. I like thinking I'm doing "okay." I'm an American. It's not my fault. I don't like free grace.

But that's just it. Grace. Forgiveness. Acceptance. They are free. They're not cheap, but they are free. Jesus spilled his blood, gave His life, took the payment for my sins upon Himself. I deserve the death that He experienced.

Now I can see my sin before a Holy God. I see how ugly it is and how beautiful Jesus is as He washes me whiter than snow. I am redeemed.

I know this will step on toes. It's not popular to tell people they're sinners, even if you lump yourself in there. It's not popular talking about death or what may or may not happen afterwards. But I also know that it is this Jesus who saves. It is this Jesus who gives life and hope and peace. It is this Jesus who strengthens me to be content in all things on days like today.

I pray that some day Paul's attitude of contentment doesn't elude me. In the meantime, I pray that I will live like the gospel actually matters.