For lunch today Alice decided when she was finished with her cheese that the last piece fit quite nicely inside her right ear. Of course, we had to get a picture. Needless to say, that piece of cheese went in the trash.
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
8.01.2011
Alice Finds Her Ear
For lunch today Alice decided when she was finished with her cheese that the last piece fit quite nicely inside her right ear. Of course, we had to get a picture. Needless to say, that piece of cheese went in the trash.
6.09.2009
The Ankle
It's been a eight days, so I figure I'd post quickly about my ankle. Yep, that's it over there. Well, that's it last Monday, June 1, a couple hours after I sprained it playing basketball. Here's how it happened:
On Mondays and Thursdays this summer, we have early morning basketball gatherings in our gym at Village Bible Church starting at 6:30am. As we were playing last Monday, I got a rebound underneath the basket. Because I was almost directly underneath the hoop, I took a dribble out and jumped up for a shot.
I made the shot, but I hardly noticed that because when I landed my left ankle rolled (inversion is the technical term. You learn a lot from injuries!) and I and at least one other person heard a loud POP!
As you can imagine, I immediately fell to the ground, writhing in pain and trying not scream, cry or whimper. About a minute later two guys helped me up and carried/dragged me to the pew that runs along the side of the gym wall. I laid down and elevated the ankle. Someone got a baggy of ice from the kitchen and I began to ice it. The teams began to play again and about an hour later, I limped very slowly to the car after locking everything up.
The picture above is a few minutes after I took my shoe off, allowing the ankle to swell up.
Today my ankle is much smaller but still swollen. I went to the doctor a week ago today and the X-rays came back negative so I have still never broken a bone in my body, praise the Lord! However, several people have told me that sometimes a severe sprain like this takes longer to heal because of all the "soft tissue" damage. We'll see. The bruising that began on Tuesday and especially Wednesday is still around. I guess the blood find natural "gutters" in the body and so all around the base of my foot there is a purple "stain." It has even spread to my three smallest toes, coloring them a nice shade of purple. I have been icing and elevating and using a nifty boot from a friend at church who broke the growth plate in his ankle last year. The boot has been very helpful, as it allows me to get as close to fully functional as possible.
We leave tomorrow for New England, so we'll see how my ankle does at 30,000 feet. I also plan on bringing the Ace bandage and an ankle brace for the trip. Someone mentioned that Satan may be trying to discourage me from all the youth activities we have planned for the summer. Because I believe that God is sovereign over even Satan, I have looked at this as an opportunity to be reminded of my frailty and vanity. It is humbling to hobble around on crutches. It requires patience to take much longer to get places and to do even the easiest things. Whatever the reason, to God be the glory.
Click on the huge ankle above to see some updated pictures!
10.26.2007
Things that Make Me Laugh
Is it mean to laugh at every person who insists on pulling a door that displays a clearly printed sign, such as the one above, telling them to PUSH? So, maybe they've never been here and it's their first time using that door, then I may be a bit more gracious. But what about the ones who try pulling the door every time they use it, every single day?? Personally, I find it quite hilarious. It's even better when they scold themselves for doing it. HA!
4.26.2007
How-to of the Day
This morning when I got to work I decided to check out the "How-to of the Day" on my google homepage. There are some pretty random things at times, but today I thought it was worth sharing--especially because Happy and I are sticklers for this (and many other things like it). If you aren't good at differentiating, don't take this as a personal insult, and have a wonderful Thursday!
p.s. I'm going to the dentist again today because my tooth, which was drilled and filled in JANUARY is still so sensitive that I can't chew on the right side of my mouth. Hopefully something can and will be done.
3.27.2007
Friends at work
We've had a couple visitors this morning at work. 
Someone decided it would be good to feed them early this morning and they've been here ever since. They are hanging out very close to the front door so that whoever comes in or out has to be sure not to let them in the office. Unfortunately they don't seem to be too intimidated by people. Right now they are napping in the shade. A little while ago they were drinking water from the bottom of the planter outside. I figure they'll only last so long before they want water and food. Then again, if someone keeps feeding them, why would they leave?
Someone decided it would be good to feed them early this morning and they've been here ever since. They are hanging out very close to the front door so that whoever comes in or out has to be sure not to let them in the office. Unfortunately they don't seem to be too intimidated by people. Right now they are napping in the shade. A little while ago they were drinking water from the bottom of the planter outside. I figure they'll only last so long before they want water and food. Then again, if someone keeps feeding them, why would they leave? 3.14.2007
Telephone Etiquette
As many of you know, I am a receptionist. My main job description is to answer and transfer calls. Obviously this would mean that I’m on the phone for a large portion of my day, which has led me to begin a list (see below) entitled “Telephone Etiquette.” Keep in mind that this list has been compiled over the past 7 months and is intended for business use—not necessarily personal calls, although some points can certainly be applied there as well.
1. Be sure you are not eating, chewing gum, or sucking on some sort of hard candy. No matter how “quiet” you think you can be there’s always that moment where you lose control and a large “SMACK” echoes through the receiver. Very unpleasant for the person on the other end.
2. Say your name and the company you are calling from. If you forget to mention this and the receptionist asks this information, do not give it with an impatient tone in your voice. Understand that there is basically no way that you will get past the receptionist to the person you wish to speak to without relaying this information.
3. Pay attention to your phone call. It is extremely rude to converse with others nearby while you are speaking to the receptionist. Similarly, be aware when the phone has been answered. It is quite discombobulating to pick up the phone and hear someone yelling to another person on the other end. Plus, it hurts the receptionist’s ear.
4. Try to call from a quiet place. If you are on a construction site, don’t stand right next to the truck backing up or the man sawing beams or the guy running the jackhammer. Believe it or not, these things can actually prevent the receptionist from understanding what you are trying to say.
5. Never make a call from speakerphone. Most of the time it sounds like you are under water or calling from a foreign country with a bad connection. If you have some great aversion to using the actual receiver, use the speakerphone once you have gotten past the receptionist. You could also simply try to get over your aversion and use the phone as it was intended and how most people do.
6. Do not interrupt the receptionist. Not only is this rude in normal conversation, but it is incredibly frustrating to the receptionist. Most likely, the receptionist uses a phrase or two upon answering the phone. Let the receptionist finish. How would you like it if the receptionist interrupted you?
7. Do not hang up on the receptionist, even if you just found out the person you are calling is not available. If you would prefer not to leave a voicemail, it is quite easy to say that politely. Receptionists have been known to keep lists of “People to Hang up On.” Watch you don’t get added to the list!
8. Do not mumble. No one can understand what you are saying, let along someone on the other end of the phone line.
9. Know what you are going to say. Be prepared to answer questions like “Who is calling please?” and “What is this regarding?” These are very typical questions for a receptionist to ask and oftentimes the receptionist is required to ask these.
10. Do not take out your anger/frustration on the receptionist. Ninety-nine percent of the time the receptionist has absolutely nothing to do with whatever it is that has bothered you. Also, you are probably wasting your breath telling the receptionist about whatever it is that has bothered you because the receptionist is only going to transfer your call and you will have to explain it all over again. Plus, the receptionist probably has other calls coming in and doesn’t want to be rude by interrupting you. Bottom line—be nice to the receptionist.
1. Be sure you are not eating, chewing gum, or sucking on some sort of hard candy. No matter how “quiet” you think you can be there’s always that moment where you lose control and a large “SMACK” echoes through the receiver. Very unpleasant for the person on the other end.
2. Say your name and the company you are calling from. If you forget to mention this and the receptionist asks this information, do not give it with an impatient tone in your voice. Understand that there is basically no way that you will get past the receptionist to the person you wish to speak to without relaying this information.
3. Pay attention to your phone call. It is extremely rude to converse with others nearby while you are speaking to the receptionist. Similarly, be aware when the phone has been answered. It is quite discombobulating to pick up the phone and hear someone yelling to another person on the other end. Plus, it hurts the receptionist’s ear.
4. Try to call from a quiet place. If you are on a construction site, don’t stand right next to the truck backing up or the man sawing beams or the guy running the jackhammer. Believe it or not, these things can actually prevent the receptionist from understanding what you are trying to say.
5. Never make a call from speakerphone. Most of the time it sounds like you are under water or calling from a foreign country with a bad connection. If you have some great aversion to using the actual receiver, use the speakerphone once you have gotten past the receptionist. You could also simply try to get over your aversion and use the phone as it was intended and how most people do.
6. Do not interrupt the receptionist. Not only is this rude in normal conversation, but it is incredibly frustrating to the receptionist. Most likely, the receptionist uses a phrase or two upon answering the phone. Let the receptionist finish. How would you like it if the receptionist interrupted you?
7. Do not hang up on the receptionist, even if you just found out the person you are calling is not available. If you would prefer not to leave a voicemail, it is quite easy to say that politely. Receptionists have been known to keep lists of “People to Hang up On.” Watch you don’t get added to the list!
8. Do not mumble. No one can understand what you are saying, let along someone on the other end of the phone line.
9. Know what you are going to say. Be prepared to answer questions like “Who is calling please?” and “What is this regarding?” These are very typical questions for a receptionist to ask and oftentimes the receptionist is required to ask these.
10. Do not take out your anger/frustration on the receptionist. Ninety-nine percent of the time the receptionist has absolutely nothing to do with whatever it is that has bothered you. Also, you are probably wasting your breath telling the receptionist about whatever it is that has bothered you because the receptionist is only going to transfer your call and you will have to explain it all over again. Plus, the receptionist probably has other calls coming in and doesn’t want to be rude by interrupting you. Bottom line—be nice to the receptionist.
3.07.2007
Life is Good
Wednesday morning and I'm already caught up with invoices! Today my ride to work was less than 20 minutes. It was 18 minutes, to be exact. Needless to say, it made my morning :-)
In other news, the great tragedy of our VCR messing up in recording 24 last week is now behind us. Ron graciously recorded it for us (he has TiVo) and we were able to watch it before this week's episode. I'm pretty sure life would have continued if somehow we weren't able to watch it, but I'm thankful that Ron helped us out.
Since I have no invoices to do until the mail comes, I'm planning to read for most of the morning. I'm now a little less than halfway through Prince Caspian in the Chronicles of Narnia. They are such great books! I'm sure I've already said that, but they really are. I would highly recommend them for anyone, no matter how young or old. On that note, back to Old Narnia!
In other news, the great tragedy of our VCR messing up in recording 24 last week is now behind us. Ron graciously recorded it for us (he has TiVo) and we were able to watch it before this week's episode. I'm pretty sure life would have continued if somehow we weren't able to watch it, but I'm thankful that Ron helped us out.
Since I have no invoices to do until the mail comes, I'm planning to read for most of the morning. I'm now a little less than halfway through Prince Caspian in the Chronicles of Narnia. They are such great books! I'm sure I've already said that, but they really are. I would highly recommend them for anyone, no matter how young or old. On that note, back to Old Narnia!
3.02.2007
Ironic
Today when the mail came there were nearly 3 times as many invoices as I get on a regular day...... 12 Blessings.... bah....
2.16.2007
Job and Jabez
My brother Scott sent this to me today. I thought it was hysterical. If you don't get it, read I Chronicles 4:9-10 first. If you still have questions, leave a comment and we'll talk about it.
1.18.2007
The Whirlwind Tour, Epilogue
I know that you're all salivating to hear the story that my lovely wife decided was mine to tell, so here it is.
Amy's dad drove us to Logan International Airport in Boston early in the morning, so we arrived plenty early. After printing our tickets we joined the already backed-up line to make sure that Amy could get in because of the ongoing Godwin/Gilmore dilemma. We stood in line for about 20-25 minutes before getting to the front of the line and finding out that we did not need to wait in that line. Then we pushed, pulled and carried our baggage to the security checkpoint. And here's where things started to happen.
Amy and I both got out our wallets to show the kind man our ID.
Horror of horrors, Batman!
My driver's license was gone! I stared at my wallet with a dumb look on my face as my mind raced through all the other places it could possibly be. Unfortunately, the only thing I could come up with was that I had accidentally thrown my driver's license away with my boarding pass and ticket upon arrival in Boston.
So, I jogged back to the ticket counter and cut in front of at least 100 people waiting for their boarding pass. I told the kind lady my predicament and she reprinted my boarding pass and added an extra security code and warned me that I'd be searched. I thanked her and ran back to the line for security. Halfway there I realized that I wasn't tugging my carry-on behind me. All I had with me was my backpack. I had left my carry-on in the line when I took off to the ticket counter.
I looked all around as the line moved forward. I couldn't see my bag anywhere! I finally reached the front of the line. The airport employee checking ID was a new guy so I asked if someone had found a bag in the last few minutes. He said, "Oh, you're that guy." In case you're wondering, this did not bolster my wavering confidence in actually catching up to Amy (by this time, she's already waiting for me on the other side of security) and making our flight.
He told me to go back to the restaurant halfway to the ticket counter and ask the state troopers with the dog, because they had my bag. I thanked him and ran back to the state troopers. I interrupted their conversation, identified myself as the guy who left his carry-on by the line and asked if I could have it back. They all gave me a condescending look that I tried my hardest to ignore. One of them pulled out his walkie-talkie and called a fellow trooper who had my bag. The trooper told me to go outside and find the all-black truck. He also added that it would be $100. I was pretty sure he was joking, but I didn't think it was that funny. Once again, I thanked him and ran outside the airport where I saw an all-black truck just stopping. The state trooper stopped the car in the morass of traffic, got out, walked all the way around the back of the truck, gave me a look of disgust, opened the passenger side door and handed me the carry-on. I thanked him and ran back inside the airport and got back in the security line for the third time!
When I reached the front of the line I told the man checking ID that I had lost my driver's license and had already talked to the people at the ticket counter. I showed him my credit cards and my bank card. He examined them quickly and let me through. I put my carry-ons through the X-ray machine and had to be taken to the little area where "random" searches are made. A kind sir searched me and then searched my carry-ons. Everything was fine until he unzipped one of the outside compartments on my suitcase. I had forgotten that that's where I had placed the ice pops
that my mother-in-law had put in my stocking on Christmas morning.
"What the [heck] is this?" he asked.
At this point I'm completely embarrassed because this obviously doesn't look good. These could be bombs, drugs, etc. I sheepishly told him that I got them in my stocking for Christmas. He grunted something about it being okay and then continued searching. He then asked me why "that girl over there is staring at us." "That girl" happened to be my wife, who was patiently waiting for us to finish. He finally finished and let me go.
Amy and I then literally started jogging to our gate. We heard a final boarding call and they announced that they needed "Andre and Amy Gilmore to come to" the gate. We made it on the flight but couldn't sit together.
So, all in all, it wasn't a bad day. Just another fun day in this post-9/11 world!
Amy's dad drove us to Logan International Airport in Boston early in the morning, so we arrived plenty early. After printing our tickets we joined the already backed-up line to make sure that Amy could get in because of the ongoing Godwin/Gilmore dilemma. We stood in line for about 20-25 minutes before getting to the front of the line and finding out that we did not need to wait in that line. Then we pushed, pulled and carried our baggage to the security checkpoint. And here's where things started to happen.
Amy and I both got out our wallets to show the kind man our ID.
Horror of horrors, Batman!
My driver's license was gone! I stared at my wallet with a dumb look on my face as my mind raced through all the other places it could possibly be. Unfortunately, the only thing I could come up with was that I had accidentally thrown my driver's license away with my boarding pass and ticket upon arrival in Boston.
So, I jogged back to the ticket counter and cut in front of at least 100 people waiting for their boarding pass. I told the kind lady my predicament and she reprinted my boarding pass and added an extra security code and warned me that I'd be searched. I thanked her and ran back to the line for security. Halfway there I realized that I wasn't tugging my carry-on behind me. All I had with me was my backpack. I had left my carry-on in the line when I took off to the ticket counter.
I looked all around as the line moved forward. I couldn't see my bag anywhere! I finally reached the front of the line. The airport employee checking ID was a new guy so I asked if someone had found a bag in the last few minutes. He said, "Oh, you're that guy." In case you're wondering, this did not bolster my wavering confidence in actually catching up to Amy (by this time, she's already waiting for me on the other side of security) and making our flight.
He told me to go back to the restaurant halfway to the ticket counter and ask the state troopers with the dog, because they had my bag. I thanked him and ran back to the state troopers. I interrupted their conversation, identified myself as the guy who left his carry-on by the line and asked if I could have it back. They all gave me a condescending look that I tried my hardest to ignore. One of them pulled out his walkie-talkie and called a fellow trooper who had my bag. The trooper told me to go outside and find the all-black truck. He also added that it would be $100. I was pretty sure he was joking, but I didn't think it was that funny. Once again, I thanked him and ran outside the airport where I saw an all-black truck just stopping. The state trooper stopped the car in the morass of traffic, got out, walked all the way around the back of the truck, gave me a look of disgust, opened the passenger side door and handed me the carry-on. I thanked him and ran back inside the airport and got back in the security line for the third time!
When I reached the front of the line I told the man checking ID that I had lost my driver's license and had already talked to the people at the ticket counter. I showed him my credit cards and my bank card. He examined them quickly and let me through. I put my carry-ons through the X-ray machine and had to be taken to the little area where "random" searches are made. A kind sir searched me and then searched my carry-ons. Everything was fine until he unzipped one of the outside compartments on my suitcase. I had forgotten that that's where I had placed the ice pops
that my mother-in-law had put in my stocking on Christmas morning."What the [heck] is this?" he asked.
At this point I'm completely embarrassed because this obviously doesn't look good. These could be bombs, drugs, etc. I sheepishly told him that I got them in my stocking for Christmas. He grunted something about it being okay and then continued searching. He then asked me why "that girl over there is staring at us." "That girl" happened to be my wife, who was patiently waiting for us to finish. He finally finished and let me go.
Amy and I then literally started jogging to our gate. We heard a final boarding call and they announced that they needed "Andre and Amy Gilmore to come to" the gate. We made it on the flight but couldn't sit together.
So, all in all, it wasn't a bad day. Just another fun day in this post-9/11 world!
9.20.2006
Puns
In light of the comment on yesterday's post, I thought I'd open up today's post with some puns..................... but I couldn't think of any. So, to all those people who like puns or corny jokes, I'd like to share one that my Pop-pop likes. He says, "I knew a girl once who was so thin that any time she drank tomato juice she looked like a thermometer!"
With that bringing back fond memories of times with Pop-pop in Connecticut, I'd love to hear anyone else's puns or jokes. Heather, I'm sure you'll appreciate these... and so will the Mikes (my brother and cousin-in-law)... pretty much my whole family will at least crack a smile... So, I'm waiting to hear from you! They'd better be good!!!!
Update:
I just found this website. It's ok, but not the same as hearing them from people you know.... HINT HINT....
With that bringing back fond memories of times with Pop-pop in Connecticut, I'd love to hear anyone else's puns or jokes. Heather, I'm sure you'll appreciate these... and so will the Mikes (my brother and cousin-in-law)... pretty much my whole family will at least crack a smile... So, I'm waiting to hear from you! They'd better be good!!!!
Update:
I just found this website. It's ok, but not the same as hearing them from people you know.... HINT HINT....
9.15.2006
Busy week!
That's right! It was a busy week for me in the office! I've been coding, entering and checking invoices like crazy and hardly had time to blog or email or anything. I'm sorry for those who haven't received emails in a while. I'm hoping to get to that next week (since we still don't have reliable internet at our apartment).
Wednesday night Mike and Raphaelle came for dinner (actually they brought dinner--Mike's tasty enchiladas). After a tour of our apartment, we talked for a while and then played cards and talked more. We then decided that we need to do dinners at least once a month, alternating between our apartment and theirs. I'm glad we are making these plans :-D I had lots of fun and am looking forward to getting to spend more time with them now that Raphaelle (and soon-to-be Mike) is in LA!!! Thanks for the visit Mike & Raphaelle!
Tonight Happy and I are having a "date night" of dinner and a movie. Happy is surprising me so I don't actually know where we are eating or what movie we'll see. I'm sure it'll be wonderful though :-)
Like most Friday afternoons, the office is like a ghost-town (minus the ghosts... and tumbleweed). There is a golf tournament that half of the office is participating in and then there are the 10 of us left to hold down the fort. The phones are quiet though so I've been entering, checking and now coding invoices. But, I did spend a good amount of my afternoon reading through the Friday Funnies at what is becoming one of my most-liked blogs. I laughed out loud at many of the funnies. Enjoy!
Wednesday night Mike and Raphaelle came for dinner (actually they brought dinner--Mike's tasty enchiladas). After a tour of our apartment, we talked for a while and then played cards and talked more. We then decided that we need to do dinners at least once a month, alternating between our apartment and theirs. I'm glad we are making these plans :-D I had lots of fun and am looking forward to getting to spend more time with them now that Raphaelle (and soon-to-be Mike) is in LA!!! Thanks for the visit Mike & Raphaelle!
Tonight Happy and I are having a "date night" of dinner and a movie. Happy is surprising me so I don't actually know where we are eating or what movie we'll see. I'm sure it'll be wonderful though :-)
Like most Friday afternoons, the office is like a ghost-town (minus the ghosts... and tumbleweed). There is a golf tournament that half of the office is participating in and then there are the 10 of us left to hold down the fort. The phones are quiet though so I've been entering, checking and now coding invoices. But, I did spend a good amount of my afternoon reading through the Friday Funnies at what is becoming one of my most-liked blogs. I laughed out loud at many of the funnies. Enjoy!
8.10.2006
By the way...
I just wanted to mention without hurting anyone's feelings if they have already messed this up... but our new address is NOT Beaver, it's Bever (minus the "a"). Don't worry, we won't tell anyone if you added the "a." ;-)
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