Cookies?

I just looked at the calendar and said "Holy moly! Where did this month go?" I think this will happen more and more as I get older and my children grow. I remember being a kid and thinking that a day took FOREVER. Granted, that was on Christmas Eve when I was anticipating opening presents in the morning. But still. I guess a day when I was eight was a larger percentage of my life than a day when I'm 28.

So. I'm way more sleep deprived than normal, if that explains anything. Alice was sick from Friday night until Sunday-ish, throwing up and slightly fever-ish. No fun. We had driven up to visit grandma & grandpa for the weekend too. It was kind of a bummer, but I'm still so thankful I was there instead of home while Andrew was in Mexico. Being alone taking care of a puking toddler and a three month old for a weekend would have been... rough. Yes, very rough.

Other news: Emma is a real person now! She has a social security number AND we finally got her birth certificate. I was prompted to get my act together and get it when I won a monetary prize because I have a daughter named Emma. Funny, they want proof before sending money. I guess that's okay.

Andrew had his spring break two weeks ago, which he determined was a good time to have mouth surgery to remove an infection. He goes back this Thursday for a follow up appointment, but things seem to be healing nicely. He showed it to me a few times. I had to look away and make him stop talking about it so I didn't toss my cookies. Ew.

We took some ridiculously cute pictures of Alice & Emma for Easter. You should check them out if you haven't already seen them on Facebook. But if you've already seen them on Facebook, there's no shame in looking at them again here.

Alice is almost two.
Emma has started laughing.
I still really love being a stay-at-home mom.

The Bible, Bibs and Boxes

This morning Alice and I enjoyed a cup of tea and read the Bible together. True, hers was a sippy and she didn't share much of the actual reading, but it was an excellent way to start our day. I think I'd like to make a habit of this with her, especially since I can't enjoy my own cup of tea without her wanting some. I figured it's probably better to just plan to share it with her and make the most of the time she sits and gulps it down. So, ask me how it's going in a few days or weeks...

Her new favorite thing is emptying the drawer of bibs and "packing" them into different boxes. Yes, we have a drawer dedicated to bibs with a few oven mitts sharing the space. I suppose Alice has seen mommy packing boxes quite a bit and wants to help. But, the bibs don't stay packed. We'll see how she likes it when they DO stay packed. I'll just have to make sure I know where they are so I can make a new bib drawer for her to discover ASAP. She's rounding out the second hour of her nap (YAY!) and I'm looking at a living room strewn with probably 30 bibs as I bounce Emma in her seat using my foot. What a life :-)

We've now got five days until the move, but really only four left to pack. Wow. Haven't thought of it in those terms until now. Today I've gotten three boxes packed. Part of the problem is the loud tape dispenser. I think I just need to put together a bunch of boxes (most of them are flat at the moment) while everyone's awake. Then I can pack while Emma sleeps and tape the boxes closed once she wakes again. In theory, that should work. We'll see how the next four days go.

Well, Alice must have sensed that I was noticing how long she'd been asleep because she's awake now. And Emma is falling asleep. I guess I won't be taping boxes just yet.

And I love this weather.

Contentment

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. Philippians 4:11

I struggle with the fact that the Lord brought me to California and seems to actually want to keep me here. Today I was talking with a dear friend and the Lord brought to mind Paul's attitude mentioned here. I wonder if Paul ever wished he had a home or a family? Did he ever wish that he had ONE local church to which he belonged and lived life with? No one is perfect, but I suspect he actually WAS content with the life God gave him.

Recently I left the girls home with my wonderful husband and took a walk by myself to clear my head. I walked for two hours and realized about 30 minutes into the walk that I was looking for a place to be alone with the Lord. Everywhere I went I saw people and cars and busyness. I finally ended up at a park where I sat and attempted to block out all the other noise around me and focus on God's creation. It was SO HARD. Discouraged and frustrated, I got up and went home.

When I first became a Christian I spent a good deal of my time in the woods behind my house in New Hampshire. I read my Bible, prayed, wrote in my journal and marveled at God. Those times were so sweet. Almost 13 years later I still remember my "spot" in those woods.

So. Now what?

Life doesn't look like that anymore. I live in southern California only miles away from Disneyland. God put me here intentionally. He knows how hard it is to find time away from the hustle and bustle, but He still wants to meet with me. He wants me to sacrifice my preferences and learn to silence the noise around me so I can become more like His Son. Right here. Right now.

Moving

As I mentioned in the last post, we're moving. It's less than two weeks away now and thanks to my wonderful husband and my awesome mom-in-law, we have started packing! Last week we finally were able to go into a two bedroom apartment at the complex we're moving to. It wasn't our apartment, but it had the same (actually mirror image) floor plan. We took measurements so I could make my graph paper, to-scale apartment drawing. Yes, I'm that cool. I do this with every apartment and have made little cut outs of each piece of furniture we own (which are also to scale) so I can "rearrange" the rooms without actually moving anything heavy. I think it's smart, but some think it's a little OCD. I'm okay with that.

The night before we measured the apartment I could hardly sleep because I was so anxious about our furniture fitting. The night after we measured the apartment I could hardly sleep because I was so anxious about our furniture fitting--it apparently didn't fit. The night after the night after we measured the apartment I could hardly sleep because I was so anxious about our furniture fitting--we might have found a way.

Three nights of interrupted, unsettled sleep is not good. Then I got two more nights of less-than-good sleep while attending our church's women's retreat. Silly me, I thought bringing Emma wouldn't be a big deal. Oi.

Today Emma got her first round of vaccines and turned into a NIGHTMARE this afternoon, fever and all. Alice was a peach too. Granted, I got more sleep last night than the whole weekend combined; but it's interesting what two screaming babies will do to a severely sleep-deprived person.

Okay. I cried.

But the Lord keeps bringing to mind Philippians 4:6-7...

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Honestly, I haven't had much peace in the past week. The retreat this weekend was all about finding Joy in the Journey. What I heard of it (when Emma cooperated) challenged me to look for the joy of each day, even when at the end of that day my head is pounding and I can't remember if I ate or drank anything at all. At the end of those days I'm blessed to have two beautiful girls who are growing and learning and giving their mommy so many reasons to smile. And I have a hard-working husband who sacrificially gives us everything he's got. So after we get both girls to bed and he's got homework to do, we decide tonight is a good night for a card game.

He's going down.

Twenty-two (Months)

It's very important when you're two months away from your second birthday to learn how to do things on your own. Alice actually discovered the importance of this before she was 22 months old, but it's really taking hold these days. This is how I found her after her nap last week. She was trying to take off her shirt. Clearly that was an unsuccessful attempt. It looks like she put her arm in the bottom and brought it out of the hole for her head. She didn't get the fact that she needs to remove her arm from the sleeve first. Sleeves are a bit much for her still.

She's also becoming proficient (ish) with using utensils. Here she was thoroughly enjoying her yogurt. I'm learning that it's best to remove her shirt (sometimes her pants as well), just so I don't freak out as much as she's learning. Is this a common strategy? I feel like the moms who leave the kids clothing on while they learn to feed themselves with utensils must have their own washer and dryer. It's just easier for me to have less food dried and crusty on her clothes. I must say, yogurt is actually fairly new-user-friendly when it comes to eating it with a spoon. Aside from the streak in her hair, she did a pretty good job keeping it generally in the same mouth-chest area.

Then of course we had a warm day and, smart mommy that I am, I decided Alice would LOVE to play in a bin of water on our balcony since we couldn't really go outside while Emma was napping. She had a blast. I filled our dish bin with water and gave her two plastic cups and her sand toys. Then I took pictures as she splashed around in it. I'm not really sure why, but it didn't occur to me that she'd dump it over her head and on herself. Seeing as how this is her favorite activity in the bathtub, it really should have dawned on me that this might happen. Eventually she picked up the whole bin and dumped it all over the place. In hindsight, that would have been a good "ending" time to her fun. Nope, I got her more water and then tried to bring her inside before she'd dumped all the water out. Bad move. Tantrum extraordinaire. Plus, it was lunch time and then nap time. She was ready for bed. But, we all survived.

Her new favorite toy is her pirate turtle sandbox, which we purchased off craigslist (ironically from a Biola grad) for $15. I call the turtle a pirate because, well, he's missing an eye. I think we might make an eye patch for him. Seems appropriate. Right now there's no sand in him, but that doesn't seem to bother Alice. We'll probably wait to get some sand until after we move in two and a half weeks!

Bunny trail... Yes, we're moving again. This will be our fifth apartment in five and a half years. Sigh. Moving is getting old. Hopefully we can stay at this one for a while. It's about a mile and a half down the street and we have some friends already living in the complex, which is really nice. We'll also save $300/month on rent, which is REALLY nice. The new apartment is a townhouse style, which means indoor stairs and first level entry! YAY! We've always lived on a second level apartment (I don't like having people above me), but it's a little harder to deal with when you have two little ones to carry up and down the stairs along with all the groceries. We'll also have a bigger patio where the sandbox should fit nicely. One bummer: no barbeques allowed. We're not sure what we'll do with ours yet, but I don't think we want to get rid of it.

Return from bunny trail... After we got the turtle (in Huntington Beach), we decided to have a picnic dinner on the beach. It was Emma's first trip to the beach. Not sure she was impressed, but her sister certainly was! It was pretty cold and getting late so we didn't stick around long, but we decided picnic dinners on the beach needed to happen more often... and earlier in the evening.

Last, but not least, more pictures of the aforementioned events have been uploaded to the web album. There's also an excellent album of Alice's Bows, which you should check out. We put EVERY bow in Alice's hair after her bath the other night. She really loves her bows. For those of you that may be inspired to purchase more bows because of this... Well, I probably can't stop you, but we don't need any more pink ones. Just saying.

p.s. Children don't understand this whole daylight savings adjustment. Alice has been "napping" (i.e. playing in her crib) for over an hour. Sounds like she might be close to napping soon...

He Knows

"The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust." Psalm 103:8-14

This passage came to mind as I was thinking about the last several rough nights with Emma. Yesterday I felt like I was at the end of my rope and then last night Emma slept, ate, and slept again like a champ! I know sleep won't fix a bad attitude, but I'm pretty sure it gives me more patience. It also helps me to see and appreciate how the Lord is at work in our growing family--and in my own heart. He is merciful and gracious and compassionate and doesn't treat us as we "deserve." I don't "deserve" to have easy days raising these girls, but He gives them to me joyfully and lovingly. He also lovingly gives the hard days to me as He desires for me to be made more like His Son. No, that's not the first thing in my mind at the end of a hard day, but He is faithful to teach me and remind me. Praise the Lord!

Huh?

All I can think of to write, as I listen to Emma screaming from her swing (so mommy can get a break from the screaming in her ear), is that I'm sure this isn't going to last forever. I'm also totally jealous of women who have easy babies. So far I'm two for two on the other end of the spectrum. Unfortunately, Emma makes me seem like a liar unless you're here from now (sometimes earlier!) until about 11PM. At least, this has been the pattern for the past three nights and many others interspersed in the weeks beforehand. Praying tonight I could maybe be in bed by 10PM. At the rate she's going, that's looking like wishful thinking.

I did just read a blog post which a friend of mine linked to that was an excellent reminder. It's here if you'd like to check it out (particularly if your kids have been less than perfect lately).

But, Emma is still crying and seems to persist in keeping mommy and daddy from getting sleep in the evening hours.

I'm. So. Tired.

Lazy Saturday

Some February pictures here if you haven't already seen them on Facebook. Love this one of Emma.

We're having a lovely "lazy" Saturday, which means we don't have much planned for the day. We went on a family walk this morning. Andrew's been busy this afternoon reading for his class. Alice & Emma are just finishing their naps. I got to shower.

Awesome. Day.

Something in the Air...

Emma is in her bouncy seat, where she's been for almost two hours. Alice is in her crib, where she's been for almost an hour and a half. The difference? Alice is SCREAMING HER HEAD OFF and Emma is sleeping.

I just found myself wondering "Did God create screaming or is it a result of the fall?"

Plus Two

If you've been reading our blog since before kids, thank you! Also, you may (or may not) have noticed that as we've added kids, the blog name changed from "The Happy Couple" to "The Happy Couple +1" and now "The Happy Couple +2." Yes, we are now blessed with two little girls. Right now, I can honestly say they are a blessing, though there are certainly times when I lose sight of that.

Lately I've been realizing that I had NO idea what it would be like having two kids under two. While mine are certainly no more difficult (or easy) than many others that have experienced the same thing, it's stinking hard. Even on the "good" days, it's hard. On the "bad" days, it's REALLY hard. But God is faithful. I won't say I've always responded well in the midst of two screaming children and a month's worth of sleep deprivation under my belt; but I know the Lord is with me. Sometimes I just want to scream back at them and accomplish absolutely nothing. Yet there have been so many things that the Lord has provided to help me keep my sanity: my mom, my mom-in-law & dad-in-law, women at my church, good friends... baby gear where I can leave my baby safely while I step away from her wailing... But most importantly, and most wonderfully (second only to Jesus) the Lord has given me my husband. I am incredibly blessed to have a husband who patiently sacrifices himself and his desires to help his wife on days when she feels like she's lost it. Even if he has to stay up even later to finish a sermon or Hebrew homework, he'll help me get Alice to bed or hold Emma in a number of different positions to keep her calm so I can get a little break. Not only does he help with the girls, but he also helps keep our apartment clean when he can. He prays for me, encourages me, loves me, and seeks to follow Jesus' example in all he does. I know this makes him sound pretty amazing (which he is), but he's not perfect--just perfect for me.

But again I say, having two kids under two is hard. I can't imagine how women have multiples (twins, triplets?? HOLY COW!) or more than two that are very close in age. How do you make a phone call? How do you get dinner ready? How do you manage to clean the bathrooms or vacuum or dust? How do you grocery shop or run other errands? Right now those are ALL things that are falling by the wayside in my life and I just have two. Whenever they both sleep at the same time (rarely), the ONLY thing I want to do is sleep. I keep reminding myself that this stage will not last forever. Alice is learning to talk more, which will help tremendously. Eventually, I'm sure, Emma's wailing for hours and hours will go away. Things will settle down and we'll get a routine and I'll love being a mom of two girls that are so close in age. Right now I don't always love it and sometimes I think it'd be "easier" to get a job outside the home and let someone else go through these days other than me. But then I remember how badly I wanted to be home with Alice when I couldn't be. And God reminds me that THIS is a high calling--to raise these two little girls. I pray they will come to know Jesus as their Savior at a young age. I pray that they will follow Him faithfully throughout their lives and go where He leads. I pray that on the days when I want to throw something or scream that God would remind me that He's there, leading me as I seek to follow Him faithfully throughout my life. I pray that I don't look at this stage of life as something to "get through," but see each day and every breath as a gift from God and find joy in knowing He's using this to make me more like Jesus.